2026 · 10 tracks · 64 minutes
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We do not lose certainty all at once — we outlive it
Ten Chapters — One Journey
I believed in light before I knew the dark
I carried fire in a hollow heart
I sang the words I never understood
And called it truth because it felt so good
I believed in light before the light went out
Before the silence swallowed every doubt
Before I found the walls were never mine
I believed in light
And the light was fine
I was a child of certainty
I built my mornings on a voice
That filled the silence before dawn
And made the darkness feel a choice
I knew the name of every star
I knew the reason for the pain
I walked inside a walled garden
And called the walls my own domain
I gave my hours to the voice
I shaped my breathing to its pace
I measured every step I took
By the outline of its face
The garden grew so familiar
I forgot there was a world outside
It felt like all I'd ever need
They were the place where I could hide
I believed in light before I knew the dark
I carried fire in a hollow heart
I sang the words I never understood
And called it truth because it felt so good
I believed in light before the light went out
Before the silence swallowed every doubt
Before I found the walls were never mine
I believed in light
And the light was fine
I do not hate what I believed
I grieve it like a childhood home
Burned down before I could return
And leave what I had outgrown
The voice was real
The warmth was real
The hands that held were real to me
What broke was not the faith itself
But what the faith refused to see
I believed in light before I knew the dark
I carried fire in a hollow heart
I sang the words I never understood
And called it truth because it felt so good
I believed in light before the light went out
Before the silence swallowed every doubt
Before I found the walls were never mine
I believed in light
And the light
Was fine
The room remembers
More than the people ever did
I learned to speak in silent ways
While years dissolved like smoke and haze
A thousand battles crossed my skin
Without a scar to let them in
The walls observed
The ceiling knew
The empty chair beside me too
Yet every face that passed me by
Believed I was the same old lie
Entire worlds collapsed unseen
Between the spaces in between
And all the nights that changed my fate
Arrived alone
And left the same
No witnesses
No songs were sung
No bells were rung
No voices came
The greatest war I ever fought
Never received a name
I disappeared
A thousand times
Behind a smile
Behind my eyes
No witnesses
No one survived
Except the man
I left behind
The city slept through every storm
That tore apart my former form
No monument
No sacred stone
Marks the place where I stood alone
I watched entire beliefs decay
Like ancient paint that fell away
And when the dust at last had cleared
No revelation appeared
Just silence standing where I stood
As if the loss was understood
As if the universe had known
That every change is walked alone
No witnesses
No songs were sung
No bells were rung
No voices came
The greatest war I ever fought
Never received a name
I disappeared
A thousand times
Behind a smile
Behind my eyes
No witnesses
No one survived
Except the man
I left behind
I left behind
No funeral
No applause
No final words
No cause
Only the slow erosion
Of someone I once knew
We are the stories never told
The unseen cracks beneath the gold
The hidden graves beneath the floor
The selves that won't return anymore
No witnesses
No sacred flame
Will carry forth
My forgotten name
The greatest war I ever fought
Still echoes through the rain
No witnesses
And yet somehow
The silence remembers
Everything
The room remembers
The chair remembers
The mirror remembers
Even if no one else does
I sharpened every argument
Like blades before a war
I learned the shape of every wound
And what they were fighting for
I carried answers in my hands
Like relics from another age
Certain the truth would stand unchanged
No matter what was raised
I was the witness and the cause
The shield and the belief
I fought for every word I held
And called the struggle meaning
I did not go there searching
I went there to confirm
What I already carried
What I refused to unlearn
I went to build a fortress built to front
I went to raise a banner for too long
I went to silence every doubt
Every doubt
And thought it out of speak
I went to defend certainty
And found it incomplete
I read between the oldest lines
And found the hands behind them
I traced the roots of every claim
And found the fear beneath them
The deeper that I traveled
The thinner grew the air
I kept expecting solid ground
And only found it wasn't there
No hidden voice to guide me back
No signal through the dark
Just the slow and patient fading
Of everything I'd marked
I went to build a fortress built to front
I went to raise a banner for too long
I went to silence every doubt
Every doubt
And thought it out of speak
I went to defend certainty
And found it incomplete
And found it incomplete
The cruelest part was not to fall
The cruelest part was this
I was the most devoted one
The least prepared to miss
I knew the questions by their names
I knew the answers too
And when I reached the final door
There was nothing to walk through
I did not lose my certainty to an enemy
Alone
I lost it in a library
Alone
With no one watching
Turning pages
That could not be unturned
Alone
I went to build a fortress
Built it wrong
I went to guard the ancient flame
All along
I went to silence every doubt
Every doubt...
And gave the doubt a name
I went to win the oldest war
And never came back
the same
No victory...
No defeat...
Only the distance
Between who I was
And who remained.
I carried embers in my hands
From fires that had long since died
Built little kingdoms from the ash
And called them hope to stay alive
The photographs still lined the walls
Like saints refusing to depart
Every room inside this house
Was furnished by a stubborn heart
I left the gate unlocked at night
Though no one ever crossed the yard
I kept a place beside the bed
For ghosts that never traveled far
The seasons changed around the house
But nothing changed beneath my skin
Some endings take a thousand years
Before they finally begin
The last honest lie
Was telling me
This isn't over
The last honest lie
Was teaching winter
How to wear the face of June
The clocks continued faithfully
Their hands indifferent to my grief
While every promise I preserved
Collapsed beneath its own belief
I knew the language of farewell
Long before I learned release
Still I translated every absence
Into evidence of peace
The last honest lie
Was whispering
You still belong
The last honest lie
Kept singing softly
All along
And though I knew
Its voice was fading
I let it stay
I let it bloom
The last honest lie
Was giving winter
The shape of June
بدون كلمات
كأن المبنى كله يبدأ في الانهيار
No revelation came
No hidden door appeared
No voice descended from the dark
To explain the wasted years
Only the slow surrender
Of a truth I always knew
The thing I could not live without
Was never true
The last honest lie
Has left me now
Without its flame
The last honest lie
Has vanished
Like a forgotten name
And all the light
It once illuminated
Stands empty
In the rain
The last honest lie
Was believing
There would be one more day
I waited
For another illusion
None came
Two voices inside one collapse
One built the walls
One always knew they were paper
I drew the scriptures in the dark
And called the drawing light
I laid my faith down word by word
And swore the ground was right
I measured every word I kept
I trusted every sign
I gave my years to what I believed
And called the truth divine
I was always in the words
I was always in the stone
I thought the echo was an answer
You were never not alone
I built the temple
She watched it hollow
I spoke the words
The silence followed
I sought the light beyond the door
I whispered
There was never more
The believer kneels inside his ruin
The faith was always coming undone
I built a heaven out of longing
I always knew
There was none
The maps I followed
Hand to hand
Were hands before they claimed divine
The certainty I wore like armor
Was borrowed
Never mine
I searched the margins for the cracks
And found the cracks were everywhere
The structure held because I held it
The moment I let go
Just air
I did not come to break you
I was what remained
When everything you carried
Returned to where it came
You called me emptiness
You called me doubt and night
I was just the space
Where certainty
Once lived
We are the ones who carried most
And found the weight was built on air
We are the hands that fed the altar
We are the ones who found nothing there
He built the temple
She watched it hollow
He spoke the words
The silence followed
He sought the light beyond the door
I whispered
There was never more
The believer kneels inside his ruin
The faith was always coming undone
We built a heaven out of longing
We always knew
There was none
The words are still there
Folded carefully
Kept by the same hands that once believed them
He still cannot read them
But we kept them
I know the ground beneath was hollow
I know the light was never real
I traced the cracks in every promise
And learned exactly what they conceal
And yet I find myself returning
To the outline of that older peace
The one who slept without the questions
The one who knelt and felt release
I do not miss the thing I followed
I miss the man who followed it
Who woke each morning with a reason
Before the reasons fell apart and quit
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me mourns
The ease before the waking
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me grieves
The sleep I had
Before the waking
I see them in the morning light
Still folding hands
Still bowing heads
I do not envy what they carry
I only envy how they rest
The certainty they wear so lightly
Sits on them like a second skin
I wore it once and barely noticed
I only noticed when it thinned
I do not want the lie returning
I would not take it if I could
I only mourn the version of me
Who never knew the cost of looking
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me mourns
The ease before the waking
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me grieves
The sleep I had
Before the waking
I was the one who slept the deepest
I was the one who never doubted
The one who thought the world was settled
And every question had a place
I do not miss the answers
I miss the innocence
Of never needing them
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me mourns
The ease before the waking
I know it was a lie
I know it was a lie
But something in me grieves
The sleep I had
Before the waking
The road is still behind me
I know because I looked
But every path that leads me back
Ends with a stranger
At the door
Who has my face
And does not know me
Anymore
I remember a name
Not mine
A face
Worn by someone I used to be
I carved my prayers in weathered stone
To hear an echo of my own
But every answer time returned
Was ash upon a page that burned
I wandered through the halls of years
Collecting masks and borrowed fears
Until the mirror learned to hide
The stranger sleeping just inside
Every road I called my fate
Was merely loss arriving late
Every truth I held so dear
Vanished when I drew too near
The man I buried wears my face
Still haunting every empty place
His shadow lingers in the rain
Repeating every former name
I watched him sink beneath the tide
And followed something else inside
No tears were shed
No angels cried
Only silence
When the old self died
I walked through cities built from dust
Their monuments collapsed to rust
The future hung like severed thread
Above the kingdom of the dead
The stars looked down without concern
As pages curled and failed to burn
The universe remained the same
Unmoved by grief
Unchanged by name
No hidden hand
No grand design
No sacred script
No warning sign
Only darkness growing clear
As every illusion disappeared
The man I buried wears my face
Still haunting every empty place
His shadow lingers in the rain
Repeating every former name
I watched him sink beneath the tide
And followed something else inside
No tears were shed
No angels cried
Only silence
When the old self died
I searched for meaning
And found a mirror
I searched for truth
And found a grave
I searched for myself
And found
Someone already gone
We are the ruins left behind
The fractured architecture of the mind
We are the echoes no one hears
The accumulation of forgotten years
The man I buried wears my face
Yet I no longer know that place
The world continued as before
Indifferent to what I was mourning for
No revelation from the sky
No final reason why
Only the dark
Only the tide
Only the silence
Only the silence
Where the old self died
The grave remains
Empty
Because the one I buried
Never truly existed
The candle drowned itself in wax
No wind disturbed the room
A wilted rose upon the floor
Still offered its perfume
The clock remained upon the wall
Yet time had left the house
And all the names I used to wear
Lay sleeping in the dust
The walls stood still
The sky stood still
The world forgot to move
Between the thunder
And the rain
Between the wound
And all the pain
There was a place
Without a sound
Where neither loss
Nor hope was found
The mirror held an empty frame
The portrait disappeared
The shadows gathered near the door
But none of them came near
A thousand voices crossed my mind
Like birds before the snow
And vanished where forgotten things
Are carried when they go
Impact Passage
I spent my life searching for answers
The questions survived
I didn't
Between the thunder
And the rain
Between the wound
And all the pain
There was a place
Without a sound
Where neither loss
Nor hope was found
Dust gathers on the throne
No king returns
The prayer is over
The candles still burn
Nothing was wrong
I was
بدون كلمات
I kept looking for myself
There was nobody there
Between the thunder
And the rain
I disappeared
Without a name
No revelation
No salvation
Just silence
I did not break the way things break
No shattering no sound
I thinned the way that winter thins
The light above the ground
I did not fall the way things fall
No moment and no weight
I simply became less of me
Too slowly to be late
Not absent
Not present
Not either and not both
Just wearing my own life
Like someone else's coat
What remained of me
Was harder now to find
A frequency too low to hear
A thought too dim to mind
Not the wound that opened
Not the blood upon the floor
Just the lessening of something
That had mattered
Once before
I used to feel the cold as cold
The dark the way dark falls
Now everything arrives the same
Through the same indifferent walls
I reach for what I used to feel
My hand comes back undone
The wanting is the only proof
That I was ever someone
Not absent
Not present
Not either and not both
Just wearing my own life
Like someone else's coat
What remained of me
Was harder now to find
A frequency too low to hear
A thought too dim to mind
Not the wound that opened
Not the blood upon the floor
Just the lessening of something
That had mattered
Once before
I used to fear the losing
Now I fear the ease
The way the disappearing
Comes without disease
No fever and no fracture
No moment I can name
Just less of me each morning
Looking much the same
And the cruelest part
Is not the loss itself
It is how quietly
It happens
How you wake one day
And realize
You stopped
Looking
For yourself
Somewhere
Along the way
What remained of me
Was difficult to mourn
You cannot grieve a thinning
Or the edges being worn
Not the man who prayed
Not the man who hit the floor
Just the outline of a person
Quietly
Becoming
Less
And less
And less
I have grown accustomed to the grey
The way the colorblind grow fond of shapes
I do not mourn the spectrum anymore
I have forgotten what the mourning takes
The hours pass like uninvited guests
I note their leaving without note
I used to bleed where silence cut the deepest
Now I simply wear the wound like a coat
There was a time I fought the emptiness
With everything a man can carry down
I built cathedrals out of my resistance
And watched them make no sound when they hit the ground
The questions that once burned have found their level
They settle like sediment in still water
I do not answer them
I do not ask them
I have become a very quiet border
Between the man who needed this to mean something
And the man who has accepted that it won't
There is a distance I have learned to inhabit
With the patience of a thing that simply don't
Not broken
Not healed
Not lost
Not found
Just the careful distance
From the ground
Not empty
Not full
Not dead
Not alive
Just the specific silence
Of a man who has stopped
Asking why
I read the books that promised me a framework
I wore the grief the way the grieving do
I sat inside the dark until the dark felt normal
Then I sat inside the normal feeling too
And somewhere in between the loss and living
The question mark collapsed into a line
Not peace
Not war
Not meaning
Not its absence
Just the flatness of a life
That's doing fine
Not broken
Not healed
Not lost
Not found
Just the careful distance
From the ground
Not empty
Not full
Not dead
Not alive
Just the specific silence
Of a man who has stopped
Asking why
The cruelest thing
Is not the fall
The cruelest thing
Is standing
In the place
Where falling
Used to mean
Something
And feeling
Mostly
Fine
Fine
I used to be afraid
Of becoming this
I used to think
That losing the ability to suffer
Was the worst thing
That could happen
To a person I was right
Not to feel better
To feel
The correct distance
From feeling
And I am fine
